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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Independents

GRAY AREA!: Independents

Okay, so, today, I implemented a new faction on the blog entitled GRAY AREA!. This means that the topic at hand is both American and Un-American. Also, do not mix up independents with independence. There is nothing gray about independence. Independence is purely Red, White, and Blue.

So, by Independents, I mean people who are neither Democrats or Republicans or any other political party. But, there are two types of Independents: those who really can't decide and those who are lazy. We'll call the first batch "Bads" and the second batch "Goods."

First, we'll address "Bads." They are undecided. That kind of seems suspicious to me. I'll explain why:
  • Independents are one step away from being Communists: Here is a limerick explaining why:
Two Russians were trying to get lunch.
Should they have Beef Stroganoff, babies, or brunch?
Since they couldn't decide,
no matter how hard they tried,
they developed a system where there was only one option for the whole bunch.

Those two Russians were a boxing bear and Karl Marx. And, they invented communism out of indecisiveness.
  • I don't trust Razzles.(But, I do like them).
But, you are all probably like I'm an independent, should I be worried that I caught communism? No, no you shouldn't kids. Want to know why? (You say: "Why?") Haha, well, thats because there are also good Independents, remember? (You say: "Oh yeah, how could I forget?") We call those Independents "Goods." (We both chuckle). Also, to catch Communism, you must have an O negative blood type. If you do have that blood type, then you probably are a communist. Anyways, here is what makes "Goods" good:
  • They are just lazy: "Goods" are independents for one reason and one reason only: Laziosity (AKA Laziness). Because of this, they don't want to be bothered with weighing reasons or getting annoying campaign calls. So, they either make an educated decision but pretend like they are Independents to avoid calls or they take the high road and use Enee-Meanie-Minee-Moe to decide. Also, they include the "Red, White and Blue I choose You" part cause that's just American.
  • They vote: Americans have to vote.

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