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Saturday, January 2, 2010

Smokey Bear

(Note: This image is not my image. It belongs to the U.S. government. But, I found the image at http://www.theproducersperspective.com/my_weblog/2009/04/people-are-talking-about-you-behind-your-back-and-now-you-can-listen.htm)

American: Smokey Bear

I want to make my second post about something really American, Smokey Bear. He is not to be confused with Smokey the Bear, who doesn't exist (an if he did he would be a Russian speaking Communist). No, Smokey Bear is the bear you see above. He is Grade A American. Most of you are probably all like Russia but Russia I Russia thought Russia his Russia name Russia was Russia Smokey Russia the Russia Bear Russia (the Russias signify that it was spoken in Communist). Well NO! His name is not Smokey the Bear and you can suck that up or go back to eating Beef Stroganoff. Anyways, Smokey Bear is one of the most American things ever. Here are the reasons why:
  • He is really brave: He runs into raging forest fires or wildfires with just a shovel. A freakin SHOVEL! And he succeeds at putting them out. Only an American could do that.
  • He wears no shirt: Every American knows the dress code for a tailgate (something else that's very American) and that is no shirt. So, basically, by wearing no shirt Smokey Bear is saying that he's up for a tailgate any time. And that is very American.
  • He loves forests: Forests are American. America is the only place with forests. Everywhere either has stupid fake forests or rain forests. Stupid fake forests aren't real forests cause they aren't in America and remember only America has forests. Rain forests aren't American either nor are they real forests. A rain forest is just a fancy name for a jungle that other countries came up with because they were jealous about how America had forests and they didn't. And you know who liked jungles? The Vietkong did. That's who.
  • His website has games on it: I like websites with games. Want to know why? Because they are fun. Game websites aren't boring, so, to make his website not boring, he put games. I wish other government websites had games on them too (I'm talking to you U.S. Congress)
So, in conclusion, Smokey Bear is indeed American.

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